Sunday, May 20, 2007
King of Pangseh
I think i have just dethroned mr yang as the king of pangseh. i think i hold a record this week for pangsehing people. at one point of time, i was still feeling bad about pangsehing people and keeping track, then it stopped totally, the number is increasing quite fast. it was at least once a day. eg... not jioing for colleagues for lunch, or disappearing 10 minutes before an outing, and not turning up for friend's bdae (reason being... lazy) and not turning up for class gathering. (i remember some of my friends were keeping track of the exact numbers... which i totally lost count). but having said that, i found pangseh addictive. sia lah, in the past, i always do things which i didn't want to, for the sake of others. now when i am in control, i actually feel so much better and happier, though yah lah... i pangseh people, but all in all i felt the time were actually BETTER spent bcos i pangseh. being in control of your own time and prioritising who u want to spent time with really beats the hell out of prioritising who u should spend time with. and i think its a small step forward.
on the other hand, things have become clearer to me. i realise i have procrastinating cos i do not know what i want. kinda ironic. yes and i didn't like the feeling and i have been dragging cos i didn't wanna hurt anyone feeling. i guess it was selfish on my part. but after talking to some people, i begin to realise what i value more. and what i really can do without. no one is a perfect fit, but what i can do is to find the "most" perfect one. and more or less. i think i have decided. at the end of the day, i choose to be rational but i won't recommend this to all my peers.
posted @ 10:15 PM ||
Thursday, May 10, 2007
what is the right thing to do?
had dinner with my dua pek gong yesterday. he's dua pek gong bcos even though he is in smu, this is the first time i got him out in 1.5 years. need alot of invitation to get him to move. anyway, he was telling me what he is doing as head of his cca (band) and i realise how vastly different our approach has been.
both of us met in army and both of us handled the same matter differently. he maintains a strict subordinate-superior stance attitude when it comes to works, he orders and he really does. for me, i took a friendly way, i always try to do as much myself as possible and i only ask for help when absolutely necessary. of course, i become popular as time goes by. but indeed the phrase "he who holds the most power has the most enemy" is true. i had the popular support but there were many people who wanted me "dead" and sure enough the bubble eventually burst and yes, i paid a heavy price. the less popular person, whom has taken a slow and steady approach maintain status quo and trouble free till his term end.
ironically, similar scenario has happen again. once again, i shoulder bulk of the work on my own, and when i tried to delegate work again, i get shit. once again, i find a correlation, the better the grades, the lousier they are at doing non academic work, seriously, what is the value of a degree to me? at this point, its worth near to nothing to me. it gets to a point of time when i needed help. from my perspective, it really seems fair, these are the people who promised they won't leave me in a lurch when i took over. the 1st event, due to their lack of experience, i handled it almost singlehandedly. subsequent event, i tried to pass things down and it bounced back to me or it got procrastinated until nothing gets done.
so dua pek gong tell me, u have to do things the right way. people won't know if u are one man show, but if anything screw up, you are the one who burdens all the shit. do what is really right, not do what u want to protect your friends, or do what it necessary to be hero. cos in this age, hero don't exit.
geez, that was thought provoking. funny, i haven't really talk to him much, but i have to come to admit, he is right. eugh. i have really been a 1 man show for a long time. hmm... and being a fan of management... this is not the right way... oh dear. now i finally realised i ain't a leader, but a mere solo kid who can performs the job of a team... alone.
posted @ 9:51 PM ||
