Monday, April 30, 2007
Carry on from where we left off?
Yesterday, we go on...
For some reason, i've got a tune to that line. some songs i heard on the radio? or was it just another of my own tunes. honestly it didn't matter. i once heard someone say a very common quote: friends can pick off from where they left off. well, my earnest opinion... its rubbish. i remember my jc days, i literally only talk to 3 guys. one in smu whom i am still talking to now. one in nus doing maths. and the closest person to me back then, was the guy in my class. many people describe us as the weirdest person around, we don't socialise with the rest of the class. and to be honest, i enjoyed it. it was a good reclusive lifestyle right in the middle of the school. as the story goes, we used to be 2 of the most similar and closest kind of friends. dark brooding outlook towards life, nerdy, whiny and in some sense lost probably the one people whom could stand us were each other. i still look back at the autograph entry, and honestly, i dun regret how my jc life has turns out.
but life has been funny, the 2 biggest maths nerds both left the maths fraternity (at least he did), i didn't deviate too much with econs, he went to law. and we didn't really keep in touch. typical ty. and that was 4 years ago. 4 years down the line, how things changed. i have turned out to be the bad boy (honestly i did) and him, the gentle guy which was apt for his upbringing. we met and we chat. the good old days are long gone. not much of common topic, in terms of thinking, he has come to be a different level from me. he thinks strongly logically, and me, emotionally charged, and intuitive. in the past, a conversation can go on forever, now, for 2 hours it seems long. i am quite upset about it. upset over how changes can be cruel. upset because i realised i have just lost another part of my history, and something which is truly representative of what ty is today.
whoever says u can pick off from where u left off? no such thing, its really naive thoughts.
posted @ 8:58 PM ||
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Half Time Report:SMU
Time for me, to ego trip and shed some light as i conduct an interview with myself. DUH. Yes, I have got pass 4 sem in SMU... so as usual I did some reflection and yep, I will shed some light of what through my mind.
Q: In summary, how do you think you have changed in the course of the past 2 years?
A: Well, not much. I think the past 2 years, I have found a niche for myself, and to be who I really am. Something which had been oppressed for a long time time. As a person, I no longer thrive as much in adversity as I used to. which is actually bad news. but i think i ave certainly gone one full circle and back to where i have started at a young age.
Q:Any dark secrets?
A: There is something which almost everyone around me that I do which irks me. and BCOS almost everyone is guilty of it... I CAN"T SAY. damn it, else i will shitlisting all my friends.
Q: Shitlist? What's that?
A: One of my philisophy is to love you have to hate. and i don't go about hiding the fact that i hate ppl. in fact, i have a much longer shit list than friend list. yes, i am willing to make 10 more enemies to have 1 more friends. quality over quantity, and i feel its only when u take such a stand are you able to effectively communicate how u distinguish people in your life. i think the most fun part of the shit list is, i make sure it is communicated. ie to say, i make sure the other party knows i dislike them and i make sure they reciprocrate too. WOOT!
Q: Your thoughts on scholar?
A: A waste of money. Compile a list of all the scholarship holders in Singapore and point out to me who are the value of money ones (compared to normal singaporean). believe it or not, the percentage of useless bum is much higher amongst the scholar category than most cluster of the society.
Q: Civil Service
A: Maybe I was wrong, not all civil service are a waste of money and should be closed down, but some still deserves to be closed down.
Q: Minister pay rise?
A: Its flawwed, come on,admit it. a few comment, 1stly, donation to charity is double tax deductible. 2ndly, pegging against the top end of the spectrum, so if i reduce corporate text, i am actually increasingly my own pay scale? well done! you have just pegged ur own rate to the elitst.
on a more serious note, this is how this govt run the shows. prying on the non chalent attitude of singaporean towards resisitance and finding info. or making quickly round about change on its stance through word play.
Q: Elitism and the "grade ladder" in school.
The school is DEFINITELY not as good as it made itself out to be. Yes, its a GIMMICK. the school deals with cash inflow so promptly that you cannot believe it. but fpr cash outflow, it takes up 15 times the duration to get claims processed. and i dun understand why everyone is so concerned about grade. i will go this year to find out myself. honestly, a dean's list means nothing to me. i think... its for losers who need extra line in their resume to assure them of their capabilities. i don't think i need that.
Q: Short term future plan?
A: Not telling, u guys will know when the time comes.
posted @ 10:24 PM ||
Thursday, April 19, 2007
what i have to do vs what i want
This post is meant to be depressing, I was looking at a clip "Profile of a High School Killer", and i realised, the description fits me. I am quite dark actually, just that probably, the thought of killing people never crossed my mine, but the thought of leaving everything behind and the leading the life of some recluse still lingers strongly.
its been almost a week of vacation, and have i done anything which i want for myself? as a matter of fact no. its been cca, and as usual, i have to do it almost entirely alone. even when i am out with friends, phone calls come in. i am facing my own problems with many aspect. social life is nothing but a mess. look at my commitee, most of them have internship and ain't interested to do anything. i leave them to handle a simple event while i handle the mega event alone. even then, the progress of the simple event by a team seems slower than a complex event by an individual.
got back some grades already, very good, by many people's standard. not good in my opinion, for one subject, i expect more, for the other, it hits me. the sacrifice i had made for that module was heavy, the price of distinction came at a heavy price. if i have to redo it all over again, i really want to screw the module. i didn't wanna go uni for grades. i know how good my brain is, but other than that, i have hardly anything. my heart... hard as stone? my attitude? problematic. at the midpoint of my uni life, i am still stuck at square one. all brain, and nothing else.
i want to do nerdy things like rubix cube, differential equation.
i want to do things which i want, not things which i have to do.
i want people who have irks me to take some initiative and either shape up or leave.
There is just something which money can't buy and one of them is good governance.
posted @ 10:47 AM ||
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Holiday Looming Ahead
Mugging period today and something just irritates me (nope its not the news, i will comment on that in a future post, wanna do some proper findings before i make controversial post). Its a msg for my cca. Honestly, i don't look forward to this holiday, works are piling up on me even before exam ends, and there are alot of things which i need to settle once the exam ends for my cca. let me jot them down.
a) settle my accounts... visit the fin sec of sa to get all rejected receipts endorsed and to deposit cash
b) convinced the school admin for a 3 day 2 night lan party in smu
c) get a marketing team up within the sch to promote lan gaming (collarboration with bizcom)
d) source for a fifa 07 winner
e) singtel dota cup 2007
f) frujtch... get back to them with regards to helping source for games and try to work out some collaboration
g) punggol CC YEP, help them source for man power and draft out tournament rules for them
some longer term goals:
i) bring peer helpers and strategica together to have a recreation corner within the school
ii) get enough fundings to buy in/sponsor 10 computers into the school and establish a mini lan centre within the school
iii) gamers retreat (we have only used half of our allocated budget thus far)
That is just for cca alone. not much to look forward to eh? On the other hand, my peers are also bugging me to help them iron out the cip details with CDC. OKOK, i will do it, cmon, this is exam period, i deserve a break too right? at the very least, i can get the punggol cc one out for u all, relax.
Some of the things which i want to do this holiday:
1) Rollerblade (i am darn serious this time, enough talk)
2) Release a crappy comic strip of some spoof
3) Pen some new tune
4) Read up on differential equation
5) Spend sometime away from everyone (if i need ur company, i will let u all know =P)
6) Skillededmanymany-- come back time. this time, i will train some surprise strat. rest assure i will provide more surprise for u all next time
I still got hijacked by a 15 weeks internship at ie singapore. hmm... come to think of it, i didn't pick up their call today. napping. bleah, but if they call back tomorrow, i will probably say i was having exam at that time.
posted @ 11:28 PM ||
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
A tale of 2 piece of news.
Course Outline for MKTG 224: Global TourismHear from industry speakers, visit The New Majestic Hotel, and deliver the best project to win a Bali trip with flight and accomodation included!The Course will be a practical overview of the industry’s players, trends and opportunities. Creators, owners, leaders and marketers will be speaking to share their practical challenges and provide course projects. The final session will also visit New Majestic Hotel to discuss with its owner Loh Lik Peng and designer Colin Seah on their successful experience in using design in business. The group with the best project will win a 3 day, 2 night trip to Bali with return flights and accommodation at Contiki Resort Bali!
Wah piang eh, what kind of course outline is this? How come got holiday one? I also want. Its study break, but I wanna make some minor adjustment to my blog. For one, I wanna tag friends onto my blog. So if you want me to tag you, drop me a msg on msn or hp. I wanna draw a comic strip, but using paint to draw is just kinda hard. slowly slowly. yeah, i will be adding some picture to the blog gradually, but i need to know which webpage allows for blogger to host pic. currently all the pic is from my own hosting, but i am fast running out of space with all the gamers crap. which reminds me, vr zone has been hounding me for a long time and they want to meet me this week. siao, think i so free ah? they are fulltimer working there, i am full time student. so what if i am club president? aiyo... still need to priortise. in fact that guy gives me weird vibe. so cocky. never mind. thou shall draw comic strip. i promise.
On a more solemn note... a couple of days back... an email was sent to the whole school:
It is with great sadness that I’m informing you of the demise of Edwina Tan Wenqing, 3rd year Social Science student. Edwina passed away peacefully on Saturday, 31st March after battling courageously with cancer for more than a year. Despite her illness, she continued to attend classes until her last days.
damn, i know her, though not closed. but its kinda distubing to know how fragile life is. and the thing is, i haven't one bit understanding or nice about her plight. in fact, i know nothing about it. damn. i am someone who always pride myself in being observant and sharp. how can something so major escape my detection? omg. i was sitting in the peer helper room, on the massage chair, doing some reflection. i have been a regular at this room without being a peer helper. these people respect me for some reason which i am not sure. ok, granted, i have prior experience in counselling, and i did have cancer patient amongst my client. but the scenario was different, my client survived and is still alive today (with a PES F from MINDEF). but that is beside the point, i seriously am affected by her death but i have no idea how to express it. the image of her keeps running through my mind. was there really something i could do for her whilst she was still alive but i didn't? i dunno, for once, i really dunno.
posted @ 12:20 AM ||
