Monday, October 31, 2005

Music is my radar



Haven't blog for a long time. but doesn't mean i will leave this blog at a corner, doesn't i have no ideas, but for some miracle reason. i have no time. But anyway, more stories, despite the busy school work. Yep, more songs. i have a few songs on standby so i will always something to post. and with inspiration coming non stop. there is actually an inexhaustible list.

this song is actually inspired from the beatles... hey jude. heard it at a jazz band performance and i rip the tune abit to produce this. The second inspiration is from Unsent by Alanis Morrisette. background... well, my life have a few important characters, and each stanza is caricature of the people in my life. in random order and in as vague a description as possible so that the people don't even know i am talking about them. but i have to accept, some are long gone and never come back. some its really my fault. wth... i always want the best in every aspect, but most of the times, my best is not what they want. that's the ironic thing. i always thought by letting people have a free rein in their lives, they will appreciate it. BUT that has been my biggest downfall, time and time again.

Artist of the week: Jolin Tsai. somehow, i can draw parallels betweent what goes on in my life with her songs. I can use someone in my life to represent each album theme that she has. Esp those after her graduation. How funny. Each time i hear her songs, despite all the hip tunes and rhythm, its the memories that changes the mood of the whole song. Perhaps it is what it meant?

Dear Jude

Dear Jude
A penny for you thought
I really want to know what's going through on your mind
You're trying to be strong
But deep inside I know you've been trying hard to find another guy
You said I'm good for nothing.
What you really meant was i could change myself to suit your liking
But you soon realise that I can't never bring myself to do it
You stopped waiting

Chorus:
There must be a reason
Why things turn out this way
No matter how the story goes
The ending's the same
There must be a reason
Where did i go wrong?
So take it as a lesson learnt....
Try not to let yourself get burnt

Dear Jude
Its been a good time we have really spent together, all this while.
All those good old time,
Its like a fantasy we took, a ahce to getaway from this world
We could really get along,
But somehow what goes on inside was never relly strong enough.
My heart desired
One day you brought yourself up to me and told me the harsh reality
I'm not good enough

Dear Jude
You really want to put all the nightmares behind you, you're badly hurt
But you never learn.
Yet I couldn't really bring myself to be hard you, put up with all the pain
I was protective of you. I never wanted you to go the path you once took, just remain happy
Yet for all that I had given you, you regard me as a brother


posted @ 11:10 PM ||



Monday, October 17, 2005

Untitled (still trying to think of sth)



Thanks to Jacky, the previous songs were edited for grammatical errors. Yup, I have mediocre command of chinese, mistakes are inevitable. Anyway, think i can start recruitment for a gig. I have a dream... and that is to have my won gig where i can sit in the stand and watch my own songs being performed. Sounds incredulous... at least it beats idol dreams. Each time i have a song, it does reflects what i was going through at that point of time, but the truth now is... there is a time lapse between putting down on paper and on keying it onto a blog. But nonetheless, each time i have a song here, i will say sth philosophical to ppl thinking.
There is something real cruel in my life. For all that i have, i really am quite an emotionless guy. I really forgot it is because i am emotionless that leads to everything that has happen or the other way round. Its a perpetual cycle. There is a high turnover rate in my life. When i say that, i really meant it more so than other people. I never really got myself to commit any emotions to anyone. at least, i won't be hurt.

怎么才能避免不会让你哭泣
时时刻刻揣测你那善变的心仪
怎样才能弥补我以往所对你的失误
告诉我你会陪伴我走下一段路

怪我无法让你感到爱情的安抚
相处的日子我从没跨越第一步
直到你不在我才开始欣赏你给我的关怀
难到我们缘份已尽 我成我最大的阻碍

数年已后
当我们翻看往日照片
却看不见彼此的脸
单独的思念
与其我们都互相欺骗
到不如我们从来一篇

在我的梦幻世界
结局早已经浮现
陶醉在梦幻世界
为什么离现实多遥远


posted @ 9:29 AM ||



Tuesday, October 11, 2005

陷阱 (trapped)



小doing my routine packing of room now that its mid sem. Guess, what i chance upon, yep, another of my own self penned song. I guess this one date back in May. Since i hadn't publish the lyrics previously to anyone, its a good opportunity to do it right now. Realise that my mood has been the same all these months. The type of song written is the same... I do have a dream now though. To have a full self composed album. I don't really aspire to be the vocalist, i know my own singing ability. but of course, interested people, feel free to approach me... for audition (wth, this guy has the cheek to call for audition).

陷阱

分手的伤痛 要我如何抹去
彼此的过错 何时得到道歉
虚伪的对白造成多少伤害
你要我把你当做已不存在
对你的依赖并没那么轻易替代
单独的世界如何鼓起勇气

我是一个受害者投入自己设的陷阱
走到街角受伤害的竟是自己
现在所能看见是你走过的足迹
我其实想挽留可是我已经来不及
分手的伤痛到底能往哪里藏
多么的期待你会回到我怀里…oh…感觉好甜密

不断的复习 你曾给的温柔
你早已离开 难道没办发回头
时间不停的在自己消耗
我仍在原点徘徊环绕
陶醉于回忆是时刻下定决心
尝试去遗忘你我却不行


posted @ 6:41 PM ||



Sunday, October 09, 2005

象征



Geez, i missed the deadline of the virtusuo 2005. don't really cares about it anyway. hate deadlines. my world revolves mainly around my own timeline. haha.

i'm in a sombre mood right now and hence this song. don't think anyone know the real story behind this song, so you can only speculate. in the meantime, i would like to bring your attention to a story, the prince and the pauper. Sometimes i wonder, are their lives really so different? Why can't people be happy with what they have and live their lives? I am unhappy with myself, and i want to be someone different. Yet, when i look around me, there are people who walk into the exact position that i once walked myself into and i couldn't do anything about it. I was a competitive high acheiver who was totally independent. But i wasn't happy, the price of material success is high. I gave it all up, and become someone who lives by the day, by inspiration without much of an ambition and rise to the occasion as and when i need to (cos i know i can). yet the ironic thing is, people whom used to live my current lifestyle has defected as well.

here's the song:

     象征
你保持着沉默 我怎么才会懂
看着夜空的星 我对你的讯息
时间逐渐消纵 我迷失了方舟
实际上的接近 心灵上的距离

两个人手牵手能象征了什么
顿时刻的幸福 转眼间就失踪
天涯海角你是否陪伴着我
到了审判者前你还说你爱我

不会为一个不值爱的人流泪
只会怀着心痛逼自己放手

仿佛失去 收藏的心灵
设法感应 没连结的心系
到底是谁的原理 我们不能在一起
不需要它人剖析 我们最终的结局

不会在思念一个挽不回的恋
我拿起我的包袱流泪向前走


posted @ 9:17 PM ||



Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Economic problems



Well, nothing productive happen today (is that an economic problem?). Other than brain storming and crapping. But hey, this is my first non- crazy entry. its really mundane. More importantly, its deals with work. Haha... life of a no-lifer.
Here's are some ideas put forward today:
1)Why are badminton court fully booked on weekend even though prices are considerably higher?
2)Why are giordano selling umbrella for $6 on wet weather and $12 on dry weather?
3)Why does the number of taxi decrease significantly in the minutes leading up to midnight?
4)What grade should i aim for in SMU? Is there a need to get A+?
5)Why are consumer so enticed to shop when there are sales even though prices are not much lower? Why aren't firm doing it all year round to boost revenue?
6)Why do people in smu prefer to walk through the basement instead of the concourse when walking by the latter route takes far lesser time?
7)Why on earth is SMU keeping its parking fees so high even though there are excess parking lots?
8)Why does SMU practiced a close bidding system (BOSS) whereas NUS (IVLE???)practiced an open bidding system?

More ideas are welcome. Email me, call me or add a comment here, whichever you want. Honestly if you ask me, I am not comfortable with corporate blogging. But i like the idea of people coming to visit this site rather than me typing email to individual. Another thing about email is comment is limited to people whom receive the mail. This way, though slim, i get a chance to get comment from strangers.


posted @ 5:16 PM ||



Monday, October 03, 2005

Abraham Lincoln (The farmer's Son)



For those of you who saw the performance of abraham lincoln (LTB module). You all will have heard a song being sung during the second scene when Lincoln's father walked into the house to scorn at him. Well, what you saw that day was the first 2 stanza. Yep, its a full song... and more moments of crankiness. IE to say, you can't find the song anywhere else anymore. I won't consider this piece contemporary. Meant it to be opera style. The tune gets incoherent at the end... Oh well, i have no professional training or whatsoever, i survived on moments of crankiness and inspirations. and this is one of them.

The Farmer’s Son (anguish)

What are you doing with all these books
These books will bring you nothing
You’re just a nobody
Face up to reality

Why can’t you be like your father
who works in the field for a living
A farmer son you’re born to be
So get your dumb ass moving out right now

A farmer can be great, can’t u see, can u be
With a sickle and a plough I’m still king
Out there in those green, are the food that you eat
The potato and the maize and the wheat

Just know where your true place is
Why try so hard to be,
Something that you cannot achieve
Why not take it easy,
Follow my path, damn it.
After all, its still make a living

Don’t look down on your father
I did not kill nor steal
I rely on my 2 hands with a little bit of hard work
So tell me what so bad bout being me....


posted @ 9:32 PM ||



Sunday, October 02, 2005

the buangkok dispute



i realise sleeping over problems does provide many useful solution. I shall make it appoint never to go the bed empty minded nowadays. Every time i did such things, the result is amazing. Today, a more mundane, down to earth com to mind. It is the buangkok issue. Should smrt open up the train station? Or should it not? If government were to step in, how much should they compensate smrt to open up the station? Its the type of project which is definitely within our reach as the theories involved are already there, we have no intention of breaking new ground. We just need to know the cost and benefit of operating the station. The impact of substitutes. Maybe we can propose site development as well, who knows.


posted @ 10:12 AM ||



Saturday, October 01, 2005

the production problem of an individual



In this scenario, i intend to open up the ceteris paribus assumption on marginal production theory and add many new variables. it help an individual determine his resource allocation in conjunction with benefits. what we have examine in theory is a summation of individual production. but what factor determine an individual production line? In fact, for this problem, the issue of maximisation and satisfaction can be brought in together for discussion. So is karma. But i guess, that is for einstein's level of craziness. for tianyu's level, we will just stick to this. A normal graph will be a graph of output vs effort. The more effort you put in, the more output you get until diminishing returns start setting in. BUT, is effort the only factor in output? obviously NO. So introduce 2 new factors. Stress and fatigue. Yep, another 3-d graph again. This time we have arrow going in the negative x-plane direction like in the LM-IS analysis graph (heck the LM IS part, its just something used in macro, and don't ask me how i know, ok?) In the negative y plane, i am introducing another variable, which is called rest. Finally, in the negative z-plane, we have wage. ( the magic to this is how equilibrium can be changed as we changed the assumption in this plane).
Ok, here's another summary. Positive x plane: effort. Positve Y plane: output. positive z plane: fatigue. negative x plane: stress. negative y plane: rest. negative z plane: wage.
now with a more complicated graph, we have linked up the correlation between all the variable. We can play around with assumptions more fully and see how it affect output. eg... different people react differently to stress, fatigue level and stuff, all these factors are factor we assumed are constant in ceteris paribus.

do you people wanna combine this with the above crazy idea?haha... think i oughta to be shot.


posted @ 5:39 PM ||





maximisation or satisfaction



as most of you know. I am a satisficor. Some who aims and once he achieves his aim, he will stop and won't acheive more. But increasingly. i realise that people around me are advocator of maximisation. They feel they should go out all and acheive as much as possible. To be honest, i used to be a maximiser who defected to the other faction. So i will have a in-depth research into the arguments for and against maximisation/satisfaction. After that, we will do a cost/benefit analysis using economics model and come up with a more conclusive answer.

a)2 ways to look at it, perspective of the firm and perspective of a factor of production. How does it differ?
b)Time period? Long run? Short run?
c)Opportunity cost of maximisation and satisfaction.

to be honest, i foresee 2 conflictiing answer. The firm is almost definitely going to be on different side from factor of production (assuming rational choice). so i guess, we have to combine the 2 together and find an equilibrium (yes, in english, we call it compromise). So to conclude, i don't think profit maximisation is not a realistic model.


posted @ 5:05 PM ||





karma theory



in this problem, we need to find a person's karma. For simplicity, we have simply a human in to only 3 aspect. The appearance, the brain and the heart. Therefore we can give each person a value ranging from 1 to 10 for each of the 3 characteristics. For example, i will give myself a 2 for look, 4 for heart and 9 for brain. Now, with that in mind we can now have a 3-d graph of x,y,z plane and a point to represent each one of us base on the 3 number we have given ourselves. Unfortunately, not all 3 aspect carry equal weightage. assuming, I give a multiplier of 1.3 to heart, intelligence a multiplier of 0.8. and outlook and multiplier of 1. Taking average of 5, the equilibrium karma level is 5^2+ (5*0.8)^2 + (5*1.3)^2=83.25. for my case its... 2^2+5.2^2+7.2^2=82.88. Now realise my karma is below the equilibrium, that means, i have bad karma (geez). Having said that, we can extend the plane we have and divide our cube into 8 cubes with different quadrant. How if you fall into a certain quadrant, what could be said about you and stuff.

problem with this theory:
a)need to define the 3 axis more clearly
b)need a more consistent and comprehensive way to grade the 3 axis
c)tweaking of multiplier
d)other variables of karma has been overlooked, ceteris paribus is not realistic
e)application... seriously, so what if we can calculate karma, does anyone even care?


posted @ 9:48 AM ||



Profile
name: Tianyu

Passion: Maths, Music, Table Tennis
sex: M
philosophy: many people knows different part of me, but one thing in common is i will not allow myself to fall
*Elandriel*

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